Monday, May 22, 2006


A new decade of life begins. I hope I treat this one with more respect.

Surprisingly events may have turned out to be such that the skeletons may finally be locked up in metal boxes and the keys lost. They wont die. I cannot kill them. I have no choice. I am tired beyond what I thought not possible. Why do we even break our heads onto walls? Just because the ego does not allow that we just walk away and respect the wall? Or is it our preconditioning that to give up is to be weak? That it is better to break the head then to go take the easy way out? Why is the easy way not good? Is it about the wall or the head or about what lies beyond? I hope it is not about the wall. Nor about the head. I really hope it was about what lay beyond. I hope there was a higher, bigger reason. I hope I did not dilute the reasons because I could not break the walls.

It is exceedingly scary to see laid bare your vulnerabilities and needs. Especially needs. How much we depend on our surroundings to get on with life. How fickle is the balance of it all.

morning at kanheri

I was cake'ed 3 times.

stock for the night

I was touched by the number of people who turned up for my birthday or wished me. A few totally unexpected. We had a rocking party. I wish she could have been there with us. But that was not possible. I have managed to make the situation so uncomfortable for her and all around me that that was possible. It is not possible to explain how much it hurts to hurt someone you love...

I hope I am forgiven.


Anonymous said...

1. the snaps have turned out brilliant.

2. u deserved a rocking party. n we all deserved one even more. :P

3. sometimes, it is not really possible to tell how the land lies, and all that can be done is to hope that each step taken is the best possible. sometimes, the best steps don't do the trick. doesn't mean the steps were awry.

quasi said...

:) you are a dear.

Anonymous said...

aah, but i have no antlers! :(

Anonymous said...

The days are rocking by,
Today you jump over a fence,
Leave back the past to simple thoughts
In pursuit of a life thence.

Though the land you leave behind is no greener than the land ahead,
And the lies that await beyond are no sweeter than those that have once been said.

Though the stars that light the sky are still as far as they were,
And the voices that stir your mind are as still as sharp as a snare,

Though the waves still pull back as the sunlight begins to fade,
And the river still flows downhill in its usual cascade.

Though the love of your life has you down on your knees at night,
And though words can describe your plight till the morning light.

Though the water surface is in turmoil, and in a stormy weather,
And the greater depths of the ocean are void and empty but for an occassional glitter.

Though that which you want might not be yours to claim,
Life is a trail of exploration and discovery and not a crusade for a single gem.

And though there might be things lost over the ride through rugged terrain,
Its not more than but to make space for what life holds ahead for you to gain.

And though the fences you cross over every year are just markers on the trail,
They are to remind you that the past is to be left in the past and the road ahead is for the future the tell.

And while you get your bumps and bruises all along the way,
The sorrow of life is no worse than that of a play.

The essence of life is more of form than of detail,
Like the darkened silhouettes that your pictures tell.

So let go of the walls, the weaknesses and the rationale that but poison your mind,
Let go of the keys to the metal boxes and of the skeletons that are but fossils of a past unkind.

When light is cast ahead a shadow is cast behind,
And it is but fickle to balance the beam across the crazy stretch of time.

Through the bumps and boons there shall always be hope all along the way,
And once again, though belated, a many many happy returns of the day!!

quasi said...

(bowing down) I am touched dude. I wish I had words to describe my feelings ...

Anonymous said...

Let me tell all of them who read this blog and ofcourse comments and most importantly wasn't there at abhijit's home or Kanheri on abhijeet's B-day, that it was very exciting day. We had lot of fun singing dancing screeming chatting and what not. It was Fun!

I wonder if abhi would have had time to think ,because he had no time to do anything but to keep every one in control (specially Raju).

Ohh Yes, on his B-day morning we had gone to Kanheri (where probably he must have remembered past days with X as he has been ther with her so many times), we were sitting in the shadow of trees and caves calmly discussing things about .... God knows what but i felt very 'trek-sick' that day i am sure abhijeet and mama also should have felt the same.

It was a great experiance all together.
I hope we would get to spend days like that again and again !!