Water of Life

“It's in responsibility that most people find the meaning that sustains them through life.”
— Viktor Frankl

Me the Photographer

A few days back I decided that in the coming year I will focus on monochrome photography. I will study value and tone. And I will document my journey.

Recent events have resurfaced the question of what one means by a fulfilling life. What is that one really wants to do? Are we doing it? Time suddenly seems precious.

For long I have stood on the sidelines of photography. I started the journey when I was in primary school when my father handed me his Zenith-E with the 58/2 Helios-44. I have had a black and white darkroom for a while and I printed photos on Illford paper. I have clicked portfolios. I have shot for film promotion. And so on.

But I always hesitated to call myself a photographer.

Let me now embrace this aspect of my life. I am a photographer.

An Angle

Life is full of angles, circles and lines. Or so it seems. An angel is an abrupt change in trajectory. An acute angle is an ouch. A right angle is often the sign that all is not right.

One wonders.

Tough Year

It's been a tough year.

That photo is from Sept last year. It feels like yesterday. Time is flying. Its been 9+ months since I have been slaving on Canon.

And then the health shocks. All the excesses of life finally caught up.

One has to pay the price for all foolishnesses.

Light

“The most precious light is the one that visits you in your darkest hour!”
― Mehmet Murat ildan

Oh melancholy!

“Melancholy is the happiness of being sad.”

— Victor Hugo

---

The photo is of a old man who is watching the priest do his stuff in a small temple on the outskirts of Solapur. He is lost in thought. The wire mesh adds a whimsy of him being trapped in this life, perhaps.

Shot with the Voigtlander Nokton 50/1 at F1.

IF

If you can keep your head when all about you
  Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
   But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
   Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
   And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
   If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
   And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
   Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
   And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
   And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
   And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
   To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
   Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
   Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
   If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
   With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
   And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

—Rudyard Kipling

(‘Brother Square-Toes’—Rewards and Fairies)

Goodbye 2024

2024 has ended. A year of suspended animation. Of trying to figure out what the rest of life will look like. A year spent with family and friends. A happy, lazy, peaceful year.

Mulund Chronicles

Reconstructions were everywhere. The old giving way to the new

March 2015 - Oct 2016

I was born and brought up in Mumbai. Lived in various places and all of those had an impact on who I am today. For 5 years till my 4th std I lived in a small village called Tarkhad near Vasai town. After that for about 22 years we stayed on the University of Mumbai campus at Kalina.

After my father retired, we shifted to Kandivalli and then to Goregaon. None of these two places felt like home after campus. After a few years the family shifted to Pune. I stayed on for another year trying to do a startup. When me and Percy finally started working on an idea we shifted to his house in Warje on the outskirts of Pune. We stayed there for 2 years, mostly underground.

After the startup shut I moved back in with the family. Got married and we all shifted to Kothrud, Pune. Finally a home which felt like home.

Once while visiting friends in Mumbai I visited Powai. I was to meet them at some football ground. After so many years living outside of Mumbai it all felt grand - the large buildings and the hustle and bustle. I wondered if I would ever live or work in some such grand place again...

Next year I got a job in that same grand building opposite the football ground. The Supreme Business park. The financials were still a little shaky so me and the wife shifted to an unassuming 1 bhk in the old LIC colony in Mulund East.

I stayed for amost 2 years in Mulund East. These were few of the most difficult, happening and eventful years for me. Lots of things happened...

I got to experience my favourite Mumbai monsoon in full glory. Twice. I connected with old friends. Old life. I travelled a lot to Kalyan and Pune. My mum got sick. She passed away. My daughter was born. I had a health crisis as my B12 and D3 hit near zero. I got my ACL reconstruction done which had been pending for over 6 years. I repaid my startup loan. I brought a bike with cash payment.

So much.

Mulund East is old Mumbai. Some of the buildings there were derelict and rundown. 50+ years old. There was decay everywhere. Old people. Poli-bhaji kendra's where mostly these old people got their food. It was like shifting back in time.

But Mumbai has it's charm. We felt at home. Me and the wify were finding back our feet in this city. The house was small and very old but it was still cozy. Luckily many of ours friends lived in Thane and nearby so Viviana mall was the new meeting place. Many dinners.

The Punto got used to the road from Mulund to Kalyan. Since my wife was pregnant she spent last trimester at her mothers in Kalyan. So most weekends I used to be there. On the others, we used to find our way back to Pune. I missed my mother and my little niece...

I used to get food from these very poli-bhaji kendras. One of them was run by a dude near the main chowk. He used to have chicken on some days and I used to get that. We employed an old bai who had grown up in the locality. She used to get fish - bangda, ravas, surmai, kolambi - for me and cook them in traditional style. Amazing stuff.

The office was super. We had an x-box 360, a pool table, a tt table & a mini golf course. Great time spent there. My health crisis made it extremely difficult for me to work and I thank Rishi for being patient with me. Eventually I left as I felt I did not do justice to the job at that point of time. That was the lowest point in my working career.

I shifted back to Pune to join my brother's startup. I had got very homesick after my mother's passing and I suppose I felt at home in Kothrud with the rest of the family. But this short stint in Mumbai will remain etched in memory.

The old markets of Mulund

The LIC colony. Reminded me of our campus. There were families who had stayed there more than 40 years.

The dude where I got my weekly dose of chicken curry.

Just Mumbai.

The new office was swank

Good times

The wife gifted me my dream lens. Super Awesome.

Powai

Mumbai rains. Oh I miss them.

The eating area of Supreme Business Park. We had waterfall view in the rains.

Powai

Old haunts. The Naka and DP's

Post the ACL reconstruction. Recovery was painful

Serious Observations of a Funny World

So You Want To Be A Writer

if it doesn't come bursting out of you
in spite of everything,
don't do it.
unless it comes unasked out of your
heart and your mind and your mouth
and your gut,
don't do it.
if you have to sit for hours
staring at your computer screen
or hunched over your
typewriter
searching for words,
don't do it.
if you're doing it for money or
fame,
don't do it.
if you're doing it because you want
women in your bed,
don't do it.
if you have to sit there and
rewrite it again and again,
don't do it.
if it's hard work just thinking about doing it,
don't do it.
if you're trying to write like somebody
else,
forget about it.
if you have to wait for it to roar out of
you,
then wait patiently.
if it never does roar out of you,
do something else.
if you first have to read it to your wife
or your girlfriend or your boyfriend
or your parents or to anybody at all,
you're not ready.
don't be like so many writers,
don't be like so many thousands of
people who call themselves writers,
don't be dull and boring and
pretentious, don't be consumed with self-
love.
the libraries of the world have
yawned themselves to
sleep
over your kind.
don't add to that.
don't do it.
unless it comes out of
your soul like a rocket,
unless being still would
drive you to madness or
suicide or murder,
don't do it.
unless the sun inside you is
burning your gut,
don't do it.
when it is truly time,
and if you have been chosen,
it will do it by
itself and it will keep on doing it
until you die or it dies in you.
there is no other way.
and there never was.

–– “So You Want To Be A Writer” by Charles Bukowski

Patterns of Life

To understand is to perceive patterns.
- Isaiah Berlin

Beauty lies all around us. When we are open to receive beauty we will see patterns all around.

To be “open to receive beauty" is to cultivate a mindset of reverence and appreciation for all the that surrounds us - both minute and grand. We need an “active openness" which requires us to engage with our surroundings with mindfulness and intentionality.

William Blake, in his glorious poetic wisdom, said:
“To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour."

When one adopts such an open stance, patterns of beauty reveal themselves with a magical clarity. The interplay of light and shadow, the juxtaposition of myraid forms, the cadence of the wind and water and of life itself — all become agencies of joy and a reminder of the inherent order and harmony that govern the universe.

In this state of openness, beauty is not merely observed; it is experienced. It becomes a source of inspiration and a reminder of the interconnectedness of all things. As John Keats wrote, “A thing of beauty is a joy forever: its loveliness increases; it will never pass into nothingness." Beauty, therefore, is not transient; it lingers, enriching our lives with each encounter and leaving an indelible mark on our souls.

To see beauty and the patterns it forms is to embrace life with a full heart - it is an invitation to look deeper, to feel more profoundly, and to live with an awareness that transforms the ordinary into the extraordinary.


Photo taken at Badami on a Sony A7R3.

NEX-3 and the Voigtlander Color Skopar 35 F2.5

I am still not over the fact that this beloved setup of mine is gone forever.

The Sony NEX-3 came out more than a decade (13 years!) ago. I was already a Sony digital user with Sony's first A100 DSLR from 2006. But the mirrorless usecase (and hence the future) was obvious to me so I sold my DSLR and got the Nex-3 with it's 18-55 kit lens.

The reason I came to Sony was that my friend Himanshu had a couple of Minolta lenses. So when I earned my first money and ran straight to the JJ Mehta camera shop we naturally gravitated towards the Minolta cameras. I got the Minolta Dynax 5. After a while Minolta got taken over by Konica and they rebranded as Konica-Minolta. After a while apparently Konica sold the camera division to Sony and Sony continued with the same Minolta A mount. Hence the Sony A100 with the A mount.

Coming back to this setup: the NEX-3 was a fantastic camera. Super light weight and compact - hardly larger than a serious point & shoot. But the lens was long and of average quality. So I went in search of used rangefinder lenses on the forums as the new E mount was adaptable to other mounts. I purchased this Voigtlander Color Skopar 35/2.5 lens from a stree photographer in New York city. This lens, even with the adapter, made the overall package exceptionally compact. People did not believe that it was an APS-C setup. The rendering of the lens was endearing and many of my best photos are clicked with it. I miss it.

The sun and the flag

The sun moves northwards inexorably...

Being stuck mostly indoors for the whole of the past year we have been forced to look closely at what we can see from our vantage. The world around is infinitely interesting if we choose to peer and ponder.

The 200-600 extends the reach to things usually too minute to notice. Like this flag against the setting sun...



Serious Observations of a Funny World

The Human Condition

The human population has exploded. The cities swell and compress periodically to accomodate the numbers. Expanding out the boundaries and compressing internal structures. There is the great force of survival at work. But like a virus or a parasite, we destroy what we encroach and live off. Parasite or a virus.

We have to evolve into a symbiotic species. Live with the life here. Else the earth will cure herself of this infection.

Dear Abhi

Goodbye 2018

A quiet year comes to an end. Slow motion towards the future. Watching the daughter grow.

Serious Observations of a Funny World

Mumbra Hills

Oh so long ago we came here with Errol D'Douza to learn rock climbing. Me, Vivek and Shabbir. We started with the nursery at Kanheri. Then did the slab there at 34. Mumbra was harder – there were lots of loose rocks around.

It must have been sometime in '97 or '98. One early morning we travelled from Kurla by slow train to Mumbra station. We had to go towards the right - towards Kalva. The slums were not as widespread as now but we still had to navigate them. Errol told us of the Nutan (film actress of old) bungalow which was perched on a ridge. It was a famous landmark at that time. From our spot we could see the railway line below us and the water body beyond. Errol was a super fun person with amazing stories. He was also a kickass teacher.

A few years ago I went to stay at a friend's friend's place in Kalva. We reached very late and partied all night. In the morning when I woke up and looked out of the window, lo behold our old rock climbing spot right outside! The buildings have taken over now. Everywhere.

Ride

Ride into the rain – Ride.
Across the windy plain – Ride.
Through winding lanes and slanting hills – Ride.
Ride into the fading rain... Ride!

Rain clouds

Slowly but surely the monsoon creeps near. The clouds come down closer to the land. There is a fragrance in the air. Of the awakening earth.

Father

All senior people love the corner seat by the window. I think as we grow older we observe more. Life still remains mysterious, perhaps ?

The photo
Camera: Sony A6000
Lens: Sony Zeiss 24mm F 1.8

I loved the light coming from the window. He was so lost in his cell phone. The leading lines of the left wall all pointed to him.
Processed in Capture 1.